Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Drake has all the answers
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
