I cockslap morals
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
