My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
