So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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