This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Blood and glitter go together right?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Randomize
