Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Floor bacon is actually really good
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
