Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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