The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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