"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
