You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize