so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
