Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
