I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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