Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
