My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
