Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
