: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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