If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
