I think i peed on brittanys purse
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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