I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
