no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize