You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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