ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
