What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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