FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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