with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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