just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
