There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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