if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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