Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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