bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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