so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
