Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
