Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just cropdusted the office
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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