Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
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