Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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