R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Can I color on your dick again?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
