Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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