His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
