Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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