I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
