You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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