Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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