carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
