I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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