My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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