her vagine was all disorganized.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
