Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
