I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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