from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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