Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
