I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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