I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
