i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
