I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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