On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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