lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize