He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't deserve a penis
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
