Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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