White coat. Heels.
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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