im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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