he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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