Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
