just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
