I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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