Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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